by Ryan Lee King
The following collection of poems capture my thoughts, my dreams and random life events that occurred throughout 1998. Beware! A helping of bad poetry lies below. If you happened to enjoy reading them, let me know! If you really enjoyed them, why not purchase a copy?
January 3, 1998
It’s so easy to get lost in the forest of today,
Rivers of asphalt where trees once would sway,
Trees are aggressively logged and stacked as high as they,
Stones and dirt become silicon chips along the way,
Thickets thin out and morph into concrete and steel,
Looking around I become mystified that nothing is real,
Green vines of ivy are replaced by miles of copper wire,
Houses, restaurants, and offices destroy the country shire,
Jungles of lush green replaced by a great mechanical bog,
Crystal blue skies pushed out of existence by the city smog,
Cool mountain streams overran by construction and paint,
In this world remnants of nature are ever so faint,
Such a change in the world in just the past few years,
Knowledge for its own sake conjures up my worst fears,
Every advancement for humanity forces it further back,
We celebrate ourselves like some kind of megalomaniac,
Knowledge without wisdom has an eventual cost,
By the time we realize this, what will we have lost?
January 10, 1998
At First Wake
The pure clarity when you awake,
Is nothing you can contrive to make,
Your mind is silent and serene,
Emotions and the day all wiped away clean,
The tranquility of the mind before all is moving,
Is comforting and strangely soothing,
The energy is soft and sedate,
Quite the creative and elegant state,
Peace before the world and you attempt to mesh,
The restful oneness of spirit, mind, and flesh,
As fleeting as the sun’s first ray,
This feeling eventually fades away,
Replaced only with thoughts and needless notions,
And the onslaught of everyday emotions.
January 17, 1998
At A Loss
At a loss as to what to do,
I hate starting something new,
Back at square one once more,
Back again on the ground floor,
Sure, the idea of it is kind of neat,
It’s another journey to complete,
But haven’t I done enough?
Back to back projects are tough,
There’s only so much I can handle,
I’m burning both ends of a candle,
My enthusiasm is slowing,
How can I keep going?
January 24, 1998
Full moon illuminating forgotten headstones,
Hanging moss catching soft muffled moans,
A low mist blankets the cemetery grounds,
In the distance the sounds of baying hounds,
Shadows leap beyond the candles that burn,
Two bodies arch with desire and intimate yearn,
Bare skin pressed against the cold cemetery dirt,
In the dark lay high heels, pants and a torn shirt,
Long nails stream against the flesh and lips part,
Two hungry souls acting on what's in their heart,
Heavy rhythmic breathing only matches their pace,
Waves of pleasure, ecstasy, and love in their face,
Goosebumps from the air are nothing like his bite,
Tongues dart and their wanting hands interlock tight,
They trace each other's outlines by touch and mind,
Their perfect embrace is their bodies so entwined,
January 31, 1998
Ever had that sickening stomachache?
But had nothing you could take?
Your vision blurs and your pulse races?
You get nauseous in elevators and light-headed in small places?
The small bit of food for lunch doesn’t stay down?
Even sitting down, your head goes around and around?
February 7, 1998
Oh, how could I be so incredibly dumb!
I'm so absent-minded and irresponsibly numb!
Am I not to trust myself to such a simple task?
Oh, for the parade of idiocy I am to bask!
Oh, how could I forget something so crucially needed?
I provided myself with ample warnings, but none was heeded!
Oh, how could I allow this blunder to pass?
Inconceivable how I allowed this to amass!
Oh, drunk am I with carelessness and blame!
For I am now bottomless with crimson shame!
Throw me in irons and toss away the key,
I cannot understand how this has come to be,
I am disappointed at the very least,
On my own ridicule, I will certainly feast,
Lock me away with chain and ball,
This shouldn't have happened - not at all!
And still, this path I must face,
Knowing full well my hidden disgrace,
Correct it I must,
With a feverish lust,
This shall never repeat,
This shall be a wound, not a defeat!
February 14, 1998
The entirety of my whole being,
My heart breathing and seeing,
You are whom I love, honest and true,
I promise, truly, I love you,
If ever I did see an angel, I claim this,
You would be the angel I dare not miss,
Over and over you deny my claim,
But who am I to be given blame?
You have caused this name my dear,
From your soft and tender voice that I hear,
You have caused this name my pumpkin,
Only in a good way but you are something,
You have caused this name my sweet,
Because you have swept the likes of me off my feet,
My dear, hear what I say in clear sound,
I love you, my promise by which I am bound.
February 21, 1998
Special to Me
There’s no way I can fight the way I feel,
It’s either nothing or the whole deal,
For what it’s worth, I love you with all my heart,
To begin telling you how special you are, where do I start?
To begin, you are cherished by me in every way,
Don’t think it comes and goes, NO, it stays every day,
Even little things about you are special to me,
Like your eyes and your smile that you let me see,
Hugs and kisses that you softly give,
The touch of your hand and your love that makes me live,
A little witty remark or appetizing phrase,
The way I feel after being with you, a complete daze,
On my tiptoes, you’ve got me perched high,
You’d better know no word of this is a lie.
February 28, 1998
His eyes are quietly watching me,
Even though his presence I cannot see,
Should I ever trip and fall,
He's there to help me stand tall,
When I need a shoulder to lean on,
He's there even when my faith is gone,
When everything goes to hell,
He'll comfort me as I tell my tale,
Should I complain like a spoiled child?
His love is still tender and mild,
I give thanks for his wonderful ways,
For he is deserving of thanks and praise,
I am lucky to have someone like he,
Always there and loving me,
March 7, 1998
A Busy Day
No way to slow down - God forbid STOP!
For if I do, certainly, the world would DROP!
Forward momentum without pause or brace,
Seldom do I have time for "personal space,"
Rocket-propelled with no guidance or aim,
Arrow-like in direction with a target to claim,
I merely go to where I am shot,
There is no thinking; there is no thought,
There is no breathing; there is no breath,
There is no dying; there is no death,
I feel there is no time, no life to lead,
I feel enslaved and wanting to be freed,
March 14, 1998
A little bit of compassion is all I ask,
I had no idea it would be such a hard task,
After navigating heartless humanity all day,
A little bit of compassion is needed I’d say,
Not a word of kindness be spoken,
Thoughtless words leave my heart broken,
A mere hug and comforting word, all I desire,
Yet left am I to burn upon my emotional pyre,
All I want is a little compassion,
I suppose even that is on ration,
When I need it the most, it’s already been taken,
From my emotional nightmare, when shall I awaken?
March 21, 1998
Leaving trails of ash and soot,
Failure to the left; failure to the right,
Under so much pressure, there is no light,
Eggshell fog above and surround,
Moist and frigid all around,
So thick a breath, chillingly hard,
Thorn into what I cannot against guard,
A torchbearer with a flame that cannot be seen,
Bound to a journey, I find not so keen.
March 28, 1998
So, one thing goes wrong,
Then another, headlong,
This isn’t a nightmare, right?
Please let me wake to the morning light!
Problems begin, like the flurrying of snow,
Hit to the left, to the right, blow after blow,
What is happening here? The problems snowball!
Snow of problems, making black snowfall,
A dusting of black against my day,
No sun, no light, not one single ray,
Is it snow falling or floating ash?
Black and purple lightning flash!
April 4, 1998
Ever feel ill?
if not, you probably will,
When you're no longer at your peak,
When your knees become weak,
When you get congested and sneezy,
When suddenly your stomach becomes queasy,
When your nose begins to run,
When the wheezing has just begun,
When your head rapidly begins to pound,
When coughs begin to bellow and sound,
When it's your nose, you need to blow,
When in your movements, the sickness begins to show,
When the world around you become a daze,
When your temperature starts to raise,
When your forehead begins to bake,
When cold chills force you to shake,
When your body hurts and aches,
When nausea shortly overtakes,
When just on the verge of passing out,
When coughs return in aggressive bouts,
When your vision begins to blur,
I bet you'll want a cure!
April 11, 1998
Act of a Mime
I know not how to move,
Or my nerves how to soothe,
I am cast within a glass box,
A prison of no visible locks,
I have lost my sense of time,
And born the mantle of the mime,
I am silent as I search for what I do not see,
A painted face to show how I should be,
I mimic the life around me,
In a glass cage, I cannot flee,
I am hollow with no sound,
Not tied, yet bound,
I seek color in mine sight,
There must be more than black and white.
April 18, 1998
I love to tease her and make her squirm,
Under her skin, I like to wiggle and worm,
I do it out of spite and of course some fun,
Sometimes my tease is a little overdone,
I don’t mean to go quite so overboard,
But for being with me, it’s her just reward,
I can’t help it, but I love to pick and tease,
At every single opportunity that I can seize,
Her glares and growls are just so cute,
Is it any wonder I’m always in pursuit?
All she wants she can continue to protest,
My teasing is how my affection is expressed,
April 25, 1998
It’s ONLY A TEST!!?!
Relax; it’s something you can best,
Here she comes with the TEST!?!
Did you get enough rest!?!
Look at the size of this TEST!
Pounding in my head and pain in my chest!
I.. I.. have mush for the mind!
My name? I cannot recollect or find,
Involuntary functions and thoughts in a bind,
Ouch, this grade wasn’t kind!?!
I don’t want to look, yes, I’m blind!
Why do I feel I’m getting behind?
Sunrise, 5 hours till test, it’s dawn,
Bring it ON!
May 2, 1998
Where to go when there is no refuge,
Against the world in an emotional deluge,
Demands on every second of the day,
Nerves already at the point of fray,
An occasional calm here or there,
A frequency that’s all too rare,
Weathering the storm by simply enduring,
A disease of time for which there is no curing,
All is not a trudge but a mere illusionary trick,
Which carries a thunderous kick,
The rock against the river is unbending,
But worn away, the river is its ending,
I too am worn against the river,
But my life unto it I cannot deliver,
There is too much that must be done,
There is so much that has yet to have begun,
The swelter of all that which surrounds,
Blankets me and woefully confounds,
I do know where my strength from springs,
Nor do I know what the future brings,
To stand and endure is all that is required,
It is raining, and I am dreadfully tired,
Despite the continuing worldly onslaught,
My life and purpose shall not be for naught.
May 9, 1998
Easy as Pie!
I think someone spun a lie,
Making a pie is not riddled with ease,
Just the same is life when this phrase doth apply,
So why on it do we rely?
Life so simple and easy yet so complex,
In this world, easy is hard- this does perplex,
Not easy words to live by,
Easy as Pie!
May 16, 1998
The Nature of Cats
I only come out of my bed,
When I want to be fed,
That or if I need to use my box,
Or need you to brush my locks,
I might come if you call,
But likely I'll just sprawl,
When I need some love and attention,
I might come to you for an intervention,
Catnip or use a toy to taunt,
I'm only going to do what I want,
My behavior isn't bizarre,
That's how cats always are,
May 23, 1998
Fear I don’t have to anticipate,
My sight isn’t so clear,
Upside the head, damn!
Adrenaline in a dash,
I’m able to think!
May 30, 1998
Deal the Cards
Okay, so life can ruin your day,
What can you do, what can you say?
Okay, so life can ruin your year,
What is there to fear?
Okay, so life has ruined you,
You really think it’s through?
But, life can make your day,
Think of what you can do now, what do you say?
But, life can really make your year!
Truly, what is there to fear?
But, life does make you, you,
Life isn’t just something you have to live through,
You seem to be waiting for the next blow,
But life doesn’t need to be your foe,
Negative or positive, good or bad,
The choice is yours, happy or sad?
The choice is yours, climbing or on the brink?
That all said, what do you think?
June 6, 1998
My eyes are closed, but I do not fall asleep,
I cannot quiet these thoughts that silently creep,
My body lay exhausted, but my mind is awake,
To sleep, what measures will it take?
I toss and turn hoping to fade,
Yet when I get close my thoughts invade,
A small snack and a sip of drink,
And still, in the darkness, all I do is think,
Immersed in darkness, I try my best,
But I just can’t seem to get my rest,
My pillow tries to coax me on,
But somehow, I’m no further gone,
I’ve even tried counting sheep!
But alas I still have no sleep,
I’m forced to lay here on my back,
Swallowed in nothing but the black,
This situation is dire and glum,
If only I knew when sleep would come,
June 9, 1998
It’s been 12 years since I learned the meaning of “homework,”
I’ve survived teenage life and its emotional murk,
Going to school every day learning new things,
Taking on any challenge and the defeat or pride it brings,
I’ve made friends and enemies but life I’ve learned to know,
Hugging the joys and facing the fears where they show,
Having a teacher say I can, when I say I can’t do this,
Their friendship and guidance I know I’m going to miss,
From encouragement to devastation through all I abide,
Never taking up the notion to run and hide,
To stand with my fellow classmates in our successes,
Happiness we show with fear in our mind’s recesses,
So here we enter, into the days of tomorrow from today,
To all who helped us here “Thank You” is what we say.
June 9, 1998
Amazing how a day, a mere 24 hours,
Has such enormous powers,
After and into these mere 24 hours,
The rest of my life suddenly towers,
Life as I knew it no longer exists,
The day is clouded in nostalgic mists,
Dressed in a flowing gown of green,
Some will never know what this day would mean,
To stand with one’s peers and embrace,
Graduates stand where once students stood in place,
We have stepped beyond the confines of the old,
As we write our future stories untold,
We as graduates will remember those golden days,
Looking back from today to our olden ways,
Our friends, our moments, life as we knew it,
Now the future is ours to carefully knit,
It is ours to sculpt from the graduate’s hands,
We walk the path of the new unexplored lands,
Using the experience that we’ve earned,
Applying the all the knowledge we have learned,
And with friends by our side, we can achieve all,
Some will succeed quickly, but others will fall,
But if you fall, get up soon and take your place,
Wipe the dirt and cuts from your sweat-beaded face,
If determination is your ally, then you will succeed,
Willpower, knowledge, and a dream is all you need,
We have made it this far; it’s too late to quit,
So, what if life will change as we know it,
Stand strong, hold your dreams close and tight,
We will make it, you’ll see. I am right.
June 13, 1998
What words we speak and forget,
Like fireflies through a fishing net,
Lost the moment they are spoken,
Like water in a vase that’s broken,
Merely echoes in time long faded,
Like radio signals long degraded,
How easily out of sight and mind,
Like a roadside billboard to the blind,
How can we let them so easily escape?
Like catching a ball with arms agape,
Is it choice, forgetfulness, or more?
Like intentionally opening the door,
June 20, 1998
My footsteps in the sand are fleeting,
Like my thoughts and my heart beating,
Yet I feel their impact every day,
They shape where I go, what I do and what I say,
The sand is between my toes, but the ocean is in my soul,
Without those waters, I am never entirely whole,
It's an integral part of who I was and am,
I need to feel those breezes and hear the waves slam,
It pains me I don't live closer than I do,
For I'd love to be near those sands and the ocean blue,
But no matter where I go or how far I roam,
The ocean is with me, and I'll call her home.
June 27, 1998
All I wanted was a peaceful rest,
And all I got was chaos at best,
The weekend is supposed to be a deserved break,
Yet the stress didn't want to shake,
The more I tried, the more I seemed to lose,
My reward was a lingering mental bruise,
Negotiating free time shouldn't be a feat,
But damn what a defeat!
With or without me the weekend hurried on,
And before I knew it the weekend was gone,
Little did I realize I let my weekend escape,
All the while when I was fighting for its fate.
July 4, 1998
The Most Beautiful Sound
Of all the things in the world I love to hear,
Is you saying, “I love you” and calling me “dear,”
For those words to come from your lips,
More than a thousand seas and their worthy ships,
Of all riches of the world, plentiful and profound,
Nothing in this world has more of a most beautiful sound,
No words more special and none mean more than such,
But oh, how I love you much,
Can you not hear nor feel my heart chime?
It pounds for you greatly time after time,
Those words call me to do your will,
And I am proud too because of the way I feel,
Of all the things in this world I love to hear,
Is you saying, “I love you” and calling me “dear,”
July 11, 1998
She is one sneaky little cuss,
She’ll do things in secret to avoid a fuss,
She does it like that to get her way,
It doesn’t matter if it contradicts what I say,
Why she does it, I’m not sure,
A strong-willed woman she is but I love her.
July 18, 1998
Hide from Me?
You can only deny yourself so long,
The inner you is so strong,
To hide this is to take one’s life and soul,
What you’ve walked isn’t your true role,
Time to stand,
Time to march to the band,
Listen to yourself and become who you are,
Be that all-star.
July 25, 1998
Against the Future
Life’s coming faster than the shooting star,
Depending on what I do next, I could fall or go far,
Choices are being made that will affect me in years to come,
A small choice can affect me a great deal or at least some,
This fearful point in my life, when I enter this land,
This land is the future unknown grasping my own hand,
It’s no time to turn back with my tail between my legs,
I’ve got to push forward to avoid life’s dregs,
Life’s up for the taking, and I’m ready,
Against the future, I’m going to stand strong and steady.
August 1, 1998
River of Change
Change - the ever-flowing river,
Tear-jerking, nose bleeding, lips in quiver,
Often not a trickle there and here,
But a typhoon of shattering glass and fear,
My little raft against the rage of time,
Foggy unforeseen through which none can divine,
Images here and there, glimpses of familiar way,
Difficult to steer my course even on the clearest day,
The dawn of light brings forth hope,
All the while water lashing my raft into fraying rope,
Waterfalls of surprise and rock,
Obstacles which I have no power to block,
I remember the beginning of the journey ahead,
‘Twas nothing like the world before me had said,
Smooth waters are my comfort and shoal,
To ride the waters unscathed my goal,
The jungle fog around me rushing change below me,
No chance to flee, the journey is what it will be.
August 8, 1998
Such a finite amount of time to possess,
Mastery of that time takes a little finesse,
So many things vie to secure their spot,
Some are a sure thing, others a long shot,
Free time in the sense no longer exists,
It's much more scheduled, but it persists,
There's so much I'd love to do but can't,
Because time to do them in is just scant,
I won't focus on one and forsake the rest
But it does put my endurance to the test,
For completing one thing may take forever,
But I'd rather it be that than be never,
August 15, 1998
Time is always the unbeatable foe,
Greatly when time runs slow,
Time relative to love is the joker,
Time has been known to be a choker,
Taking our breath away in breaking speed,
It also can leave the soul to forever bleed,
Greatly when time runs slow,
Time is always the unbeatable foe.
August 22, 1998
Sand in the Hourglass
So, things are not going as planned,
In fact, they're head deep in the sand,
A quicksand that pulls you down,
Burying you up to the top of your crown,
Nothing to aid you but time and prayer,
It leaves you lifeless and without care,
There comes the point you either give or fight,
Feels easy to give into the eternal night,
I only must look up to see a way,
It’s to manage through day by day,
I must allow the sandstorm to die,
Meanwhile, allow my emotions to lie,
Time will pass, and I'll get through,
They must- because I always do.
August 29, 1998
Okay, I admit life isn't always grand,
Everyone at some point needs a hand,
Perhaps life's little roads don't end up right,
We don't have to take it; we can fight,
With every rule comes the right to complain,
It's a simple law that no one can explain,
Much like what happens for every created rule,
There will be those who take it on as a personal duel,
Out of breath and gasping for air,
Doesn't anything in this world play fair?
The rounds continue, and the bell rings,
In life, there's delights and always awful things,
Eerie darkness falls across the land,
The cold midnight hour is close at hand,
A flash of light and tender heart,
Can surely make this darkness part,
If we can just hold on tight,
We'll make it to tomorrow's light.
September 5, 1998
What is it about paper and pen,
That allows the words to flow again?
My writing is purer,
My confidence is surer,
Is there magic in that old inkwell?
It’s not my handwriting because it looks like hell!
To the soul, there’s a direct link,
Not to mention how I feel and what I think,
The feel of the paper and the sound of the scratch,
It’s something a computer can’t match,
With handwriting, there’s only one gripe,
It’s that later, all my writing I’ll have to type.
September 12, 1998
Wound No Kill
Am I really a wolf that’s big and bad?
Or is it all hair when I get upset and mad?
Me standing above you and you underneath,
I'm growling at you and baring my teeth,
My paws have you pinned to the ground,
Your rapid heartbeats, the only sound,
I eye your throat and think to lunge,
And yet I cannot quite take the plunge,
I have no qualms about tearing your flesh,
And watching you squirm and thresh,
But make the kill I can't quite seem to do,
It would seem I still tend to care about you,
September 19, 1998
Footprints in the sand,
She walks away, gently letting go of my hand,
Tears on my face are the blood from my heart,
Hurt fills me knowing we are going to be apart,
Her love for me died, but mine for her strong,
We are friends now, and my emotions will settle before long,
For a long time to come, I will stay loyal to that love,
But now I don’t know what the future is made of,
I am without my lady love now,
I lost her, and I know how,
Time is precious and every way cruel,
She was and still is my inspiration’s fuel,
But now, I am alone in this world,
And my life is mixed up and swirled.
September 26, 1998
First, it is summer and tomorrow it is winter,
At what point did the temperatures splinter?
Trees were green, and there were crops in the field,
Suddenly leaves fall and the harvests now yield,
The wheel of the year turns ever so swift,
Life changes just as the winds shift,
A lot happens in just one single solitary year,
More will happen but now is not the time for fear,
For it is what we make it, so make it well,
For we can make it paradise, or we can make it hell,
To sail the river that is life is all but easy,
Hold fast, have faith, even if you are tired and queasy,
The roughest of waters cannot last even if they appear to,
There is no destination, only journey, and this is what we do.
October 3, 1998
In this was the cold of night,
At the river’s waterfalls that kiss moon’s light,
Only the shadow of this wolf could be seen,
Drinking the running water from a rock on which I lean,
Above the rustling river was the midnight fog,
I gazed into its waters from a nestled log,
‘Twas a mirror of my trials and past,
Pains and love washed into my mind sharply and fast,
A silent sorrowful tear dropped from my eye,
I am the lone white wolf, and it is no lie,
My future shalt not be my past no matter where or how,
Before the future, I shall not cow.
October 10, 1998
Time all a’ blast,
It’s all going too fast,
I’m crumbling under pressure,
Forget time; it has no measure,
Slow is no word I know,
My nerves are beginning to bow,
Locomotive full steam ahead,
I’m going to be dead!
Look I mumble!
Pull it together and keep it steady,
For bed, I am so ready,
Forget it! Fight!
Speed is in sight,
Slow, slower, NO!
GO, GO, GO!
Faster, faster, move!
Put it in gear, get that groove!
October 17, 1998
Time to Time
Time to time, I wonder what life is really like,
I wonder if how we perceive it and reality is alike,
One moment, things are right and straight-ahead,
The next, things of life are threatening to behead,
Are items of life really as we see them,
One moment horrible, the next a gem,
What is life’s true form and shape?
Sometimes it so bizarre it leaves me agape,
Why doesn’t life like to show what it is or made of,
Yet we still for life have admiration and love,
But I must wonder what it really is like,
Compared to life there is few alike.
October 24, 1998
I fight against the roaring tempest,
Even though letting go to drown would be simplest,
There must be some part of me that refuses to yield,
Like some battle-worn hero with no sword left, only shield,
With sandpaper lips, I am passionately kissed,
By time herself along with peace of mind missed,
To raise the sails and put forth into the spray,
To carry on for yet just one more tiring day,
To ride the waves against the swelling tide,
Through the reefs and shallows, time I bide,
Forlorn and tired, steadfast at the wheel,
Upon the ocean of reality, stark and real.
October 31, 1998
Memories of What Was
Long retired from love’s dance,
Memories float by as clouds,
Solace found away from the crowd,
Solitary glance at love,
Broken away by reluctant shove,
At moments, I long for it once more,
Hurt fills me, and I question, “Why long for?”
Beautiful rustic memories flow,
Still, I must travel, move and go.
November 7, 1998
Nightfall has settled on my daylight,
In my mind but out of sight,
Black in front, black behind,
In the void, the next stop I try to find,
A rail to my right,
The fear of nothingness at night,
On step forward, will it land?
Grasping the banister with my hand,
Descending, releasing my imagination to uncharted land,
Fear is the dweller in the black,
Fear to step forward but never to step back,
In the void, the next step I try to find,
Black in front, black behind,
In my mind but out of sight,
Nightfall has settled on my daylight.
November 11, 1998
For that day, change took place,
Love took me into embrace,
Love grasped me by knocking force,
Tantrum against it but I grew hoarse,
The more I fight, the better it grips,
I became hers when we touched lips.
November 12, 1998
Carolina Renaissance Festival
The joker, the king, and the joust,
Time again for the present day to be oust,
Sunday had come, and the three of us gathered,
Ready for the Renaissance Faire, we blathered,
We three traveled without our companions to trail,
Down the asphalt river to the land of knights and chainmail,
Half the noonday hours, we frolicked away the old town,
Up the hill, the blacksmith and the artisans at the down,
Leather to oak, steel to cloth, shops and people abound,
Food vendors and performers throughout the fairground,
At the end of the day, we retired to the asphalt river,
The warmth of day now had become the evening shiver,
By the mid of night, we were home to reminisce and recall,
The sword fights, the merchants, and the fairground sprawl,
Precious memories that only happen once a year,
Time for history recreated, of laughter and cheer!
November 21, 1998
Was, Did, Is
Didn't quite expect it to turn out this way,
Didn't quite expect it to turn out, regardless!
Now that it has, I'm not arguing!
I'm happy it has, happier than I ever could be,
Didn't believe it would be this way,
Didn't believe that it would be her,
But it was and, so it is,
But it did, and now it is.
November 28, 1998
This You’ve Brought
Ever since the time we met,
My heart’s been at summer’s sunset,
To me, you’ve brought a feeling so new,
It fills me with confusion, a sense of knowing not what to do,
Oh, my heart no longer stone,
What is this you’ve brought? Something I’ve never known,
Can this be, not I, it couldn’t be,
Is it love or is it just me?
For I ask again, is this love I see tonight?
For my heart is heavy and hope for your light,
Is this message true that you bring?
If it is, come let us sing,
Come, come, we shall dine,
Amongst the starts with the finest of wine,
So now I ask once again,
Is this love or one deadly sin?
One final question at the last,
Is it love or a spirit of my past?
At night’s dawn, I fall to sleep,
My love for you shall grow strong and deep,
For farewell, I speak only now,
But apart more than a moment I will not allow,
Goodnight I speak, good dreams to thee,
In hopes that someday together we shall be.
December 12, 1998
In a second’s time, many things can occur,
Tonight, all my doubts disappeared in a bursting blur,
In a second’s time, I knew love and trust had filled that place,
Doubts and fear for so long held control in this space,
Tonight, I allowed myself to be caught,
A collar of love, of which I have not fought,
Nor shall I try to leave your leash, my dear,
The only way it can be removed is you, I fear,
Never again shall I take to trail and roam,
For you are my love, my beloved home.